A Kiss
This one needs work, so don't hesitate to go at it hammer & tongs:A kiss a moments warmth and then we parted:You to castle, serving maids . . . and lord,And I again to wander paths uncharted.This...
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Brendan,While I am not personally averse to individual archaims, I think that attempting to write in another time (that is, appropriating tone and tenor rather than individual words) bleeds some power...
View ArticleRe: A Kiss
The story "A Kiss", I think has some meaning to it but is more of what happened then what you felt. I think if you want to continue to write sonnets they need to be more realistic and not getto! Be...
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"getto"? what the heck does that mean? Branden I am thinking this poem comes form the famous picture of a knight and a lady , called "the kiss" which I have hanging in my bedroom...a wonderful picture...
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Brendan, I truly enjoy the flavor of this....I like its straight-forward yet delicate approach. Stepping in to crit is a bit of a gulp...but I'll tell you what nudges me (remember, I'm not a sonneteer...
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okay, now that I have looked at this beyond first reading I see many weaknesses...your lines are all wrong, not iambic pentameter, nor with the right number of stressed syllables in each line....line...
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